boot camp (noun) | "a short, intensive, and rigorous course of training."
{Here are a few of the weddings I had the privilege of being a part of over the years. I am inspired by every one of these stories. I couldn't find all weddings, so if your's is not featured here, please forgive me. But do enjoy these for now.}
Have you ever heard of the "freshman 15"?
Of course, you have. But have you heard of "marriage 30"? Yup, there is such a thing, I just coined the term (as far as I'm concerned). The weight gain varies but like the freshman 15, the married man (usually) undergoes some drastic changes; mainly in his midsection. The six pack, well let's be honest, the two pack disappears and you are left with one giant one-pack of a stomach. Some guys I talk to refuse to believe this could happen to them and to their surprise a year or so later, they've joined me in the one-pack club (an exclusive club but lots of members). The truth is, what you do not work on, ends up working you!
“Marriage has the power to set the course of your life as a whole. If your marriage is strong, even if all the circumstances in your life around you are filled with trouble and weakness, it won't matter. You will be able to move out into the world in strength.”
So it is with our marriage. The "metabolism" we had during our dating life just isn't there anymore. As we grow older together, we have to be more and more intentional about our health, including the health of our marriages.
Jesus once said, "blessed are all who hear the word of God and put it into practice." Healthy marriages have healthy practices, disciplines, and rhythms. As you know, I've been saying for a long time, that marriage is the best place for spiritual formation, it is truly one of the great arenas for discipleship. But we often forget what our marriages are for and how it should be used to grow our partner and ourselves into the likeness of God's son.
As I think about our first marriage boot camp I am reminded of Dallas Willard's convicting remark, "The single most obvious trait of those who profess Christ but do not grow into Christ-likeness is their refusal to take the reasonable and time-tested measures for spiritual growth." I can not agree more. What our marriages need is not more vacations, more epic romantic nights, more time away from "kids" or "church", we need healthy disciplines and practices that we actually practice!
All Married & Engaged Couples in Ekko should have received an invite via email. If you haven't and want to attend, please email isaac@ekkochurch.com and we'll send you details and links asap.
At Ekko's Marriage Bootcamp we are going to spend one full day kickstarting a new regiment. Listen, we don't need more inspiration, we had that, that's what got us married! We need disciplines, practices. If you agree, come. Make the effort to get childcare, to make the time, to create the space for this important endeavor. Invest in your marriage.
"The single most obvious trait of those who profess Christ but do not grow into Christ-likeness is their refusal to take the reasonable and time-tested measures for spiritual growth."
- Dallas Willard
Pastor Michelle and I will be there not because we're the pastors of this church, not because we are experts, but as participants revisiting known practices and learning new ones, committing yet again to a marriage full of healthy practices. I can't wait for you to meet our special marriage mentor - Migum Gweon, Director of Clinical Training in the Department of Marriage & Family at Fuller Theological Seminary, School of Psychology.
See you on December 12th!